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17 Jun 97
Thank you all for the informative responses to my earlier post.
As I mentioned at that time, the charge on the area had truely blown and I felt better about late 1968 for the first time ever. In other words, a big keyout and persistant FN. For a PC, this is the time to drop it, either to work on another area or to do OT drills or even to take a break as advised in standard tech (but I think is a big waste because the PC is ready to really fly).
The reason you don't normally push onward on the thing that just blew apart is that you're going to jump the PC into an area that is way out gradient and probably beyond his ability to Itsa accurately and you stand a chance of keying the mess back in again (as you stir up the underlying factors). Furthermore, jumping way ahead in one area can bypass charge on other unhandled areas.
But pushing past into the normally unaccessible areas is valid on somebody who is up to being a researcher instead of a PC. In other words, people who want answers more than they want to feel good and who are up to tolerating the unknowns and confusion that comes up when you jump really far out.
So on this basis, I decided to try out various things that were suggested and see what I came up with. But I know from previous experience (I do try this occasionally) that this can push me far outside of the range where I'm able to Itsa accurately, so everything here has to be taken with a grain of salt.
When you get above your ability to Itsa, everything gets insufferably vague. Mysticism and Metaphysics suffer from this chronicly. I grew up on this stuff and believed in past lives from an early age, but my Itsa line on past lives was this vague garbage until I got some straightwire and Dianetics. In a similar manner, I had vague ideas of higher dimensions (again from Metaphysics) and even struggled with four dimensional geometry (tesseracts etc.) all to no avail until I took enough charge off of the right stuff to let me visualize 4 dimensional objects with reality. Its not that the vague ideas were wrong, but simply that they were not concrete enough to be really useful.
So be warned, the following may have serious dub-in and be missing key factors. I probably will not defend the conclusions drawn and I might not even believe any of it next week.
So without further ado, I will lead you down the strange path I followed. Note that I have strung this together like one big session for the sake of continuity, but it was not all done at one sitting. --------------------
My comments about Alan's tech on the Furies were based on the older post that is in Homer's archives. He responded with a more extensive rundown which follows. I have marked his statements with a >.
>Alan C Walters writes: > >The Class 8 Storm Troopers possibly activated a re-occuring VIOLATION. > >Re: The Furies: > >The first step is to put the pc at cause over the Fury. > >You do this by having the pc express what has been restrained.
The right item in my case was "an auditor". It was a destroyed beingness. Restrained doesn't indicate in this case (its too mild), but it sounds like the right kind of animal. Maybe we have the beginings of an assessment scale here (restrained, betrayed, destroyed, etc. followed by combining the result with be/do/have/games).
>The Furies are somewhat late on the chain. > >The second step is to locate the source of the Fury.
Again, handled by spotting that the beingness of "an auditor" was destroyed.
>As the source of the Fury is the Being who is furious. What then is the >Being furious about?
Again as above.
>This takes the Being prior to the Fury.
Thats right. I was mad after the beingness was destroyed. The distruction came first. Up till
then, it was "put up with anything" and eagerly try to "make things go right".
>The only thing that causes a Being to become Furious is for the Being to >VIOLATE any one of its Codes, Virtues, Integrity, Honesty, Honor or Principles. >So when the Class 8's descended into your space what was YOUR VIOLATION?
Wrong. I ran tons of O/W on this at various times. At first, the shallow O/W based on other peoples
standards. Later, my own O/W in terms of my own Ethics (maybe it was an overt not to shoot the C/S). All
worthless in terms of really handling the fury. The overts at this time are all already the effect of the
fury. But see below.
>Find the VIOLATION:
There most certainly was one. It was a few months earlier. It was the thing that ended my big keyed out OT state and got me sick. And it set me up for this later Fury and for quite a few other bad things as well.
The violation was that I continued to push and promote the subject after I realized that there was something wrong (unstable case gain from running only one process per grade). I'm not certain what you mean by a code, but I have a deep comittment to truth and feel that it is wrong to blindly promote when there is something wrong.
I actually found this one a few months ago, spotting it as the reason I fell out of the OT state. But
I hadn't connected it up with the later fury until I hit this question. And it seems to make total sense.
I can feel that there was something set into motion and happening on a "higher level" which drew me into
the later fury. If I wasn't propitiating, I probably would have tried to do something, even if it was only
walking out.
>Take the VIOLATION back to the first time you committed a similar VIOLATION.
Way out gradient, but lets give it a try. Sacrificing truth for expediancy? No, not quite right. Ah. Sacrificing truth to protect something that I was allied with.
Before home universe. The effort to solve all our problems by setting up home universe. I knew it
wouldn't work. Others were raising doubts too. But beings that I was allied with were pushing it as
the solution. So I supported them even though I knew deep down that it was just sinking one step lower with
yet another unworkable solution to the problem of how do you make people get along with each other (send the kids
to their rooms so that they wouldn't fight).
>PERMEATE IT:
Done (see above).
>Handle the SHOCK of having committed a VIOLATION.
This one doesn't feel like a shock. Its more like a blackness I pressed upon myself to not-is what I knew
was true.
>Run CONSEQUENCES of the VIOLATION. This should bring about a full >holographic mock-up of all connected Beingnesses and mock-ups and will >restore them for use, if WANTED.
This whole mess is the consequence. Specifically, I agreed to the idea of separating people (each to his own home universe) rather than confronting the problem of why don't beings get along with each other. Seems like we all made that choice, some with more enthusiasm and some being pushed into it, but if anyone had confronted it we wouldn't be here.
I can get a vague mockup of matter, energy, space, and time connected with this and vague ideas of thousands of lines radiating off in various directions, and I can even feel quite good about that, but it doesn't really restore all this stuff for use. Vague but nice.
I'm kind of tolerating calling this "holographic" even though I know that holograms don't really have
any mass or energy (except for the laser which is relaying the picture of mass and energy). Might as well just
call it a "picture". Real Kodak pictures don't have any mass or energy either (except for the mass
of the photograph on which they are recorded) but I've grown use to our special usage. I encourage using
new words for new phenomena (there is so much we haven't mapped out yet), but relabling needlessly justs adds to
the confusion. I always understood picture as used in auditing to refer to a full 3D mockup including mass
and energy etc. Even the occasional occlusion, dub-in, or stuck picture I ran into in Dianetics seemed to
at least have some depth in most (not all) cases.
>The chain runs from the first time you committed that VIOLATION, usually >long before the Physical Universe.
Obviously, from the above.
>Once basic is fully owned then all later similars will just lock scan out, >as they are involuntary replications of the pc loathing of self for its >VIOLATION, that includes the self induced punishment of implants, GPM's, >Engrams, secondaries and any Cult programming you have subscribed to.
Good point. At least partially true. Unfortunately, I think that we are just talking about one code here. My suspicion would be that we cycle threw these just like anything else. So there would be other codes, each with their own violation. You'd need to handle them all to undercut all the later stuff.
On scanning (I spotted a few specifics and vaguely ran through a lot of generalities), it did seem to loosen up some things. But there didn't seem to be a lot of loathing. It was more like service facing around and trying to make the original violation right by doing it over and over again. I seem to have done that a lot.
By the way, I do think that violation is the right word (rather than overt) in this case. It fits the
action better. Overts would be things done to another. Violations would be betrayals of one's true
self.
>Rehab fully the Code, Virtue, Integrity, Honesty, Honor or Principle that >was VIOLATED.
Yup.
>Alan >
Seems like I'm finally getting an idea of what Alan means by codes. And it seems like something very basic. It would seem to go earlier than either GPMs or "Games" (at least in the abberated sense), since it would affect how you played games and might cross multiple games and GPMs.
But it does seem to me that these codes are solutions to problems. Very basic and early solutions, which is why they are so close to theta, but solutions none the less. I'm probably seeking truth as a solution to entrapment or to handle the problems steming from false data.
There has been some mention of a balancing negative code. And there is mention of using the negative instead of the posative when the being wants to get out of something in an irresponsible manner. On that basis, the posative and negative would be complementary rather than opposing. In other words, the negative of a code to know truth would not be lying or putting out false data. Instead, it would be using the posative factor in a perverted or negative manner (which was subtily reverse vector).
So what would I do if I was being lazy or irresponsible and didn't want to take the time to handle something the right way? The posative aspect would be to push for truth (with getting the correct data as a significant lock) and bring people to enlightenment. The irresponsible act would be to overwhelm with data. This is the negative code.
Do I do that. Yup. Technical design meetings. Nine times out of ten, I sit there and explain carefully over and over and try to handle MUs and (mostly) others lack of experience or lazyness. But then comes the bad day when I'm fed up with the endless bitching and somebody is trying to score points with managment by insisting on a stupid (but highly political) idea. I stop being careful about gradients and defining things and simply dump accurate but undefined data all over them. It puts them into shock. In a few cases people have actually blown high paying corporate jobs after such a meeting.
Lots of charge. Lots of justifications. Maybe even a bit of self loathing (I usually feel sorry after doing such a thing).
Anthing basic and high scaled can be used as a two edged sword.
But this negative side feels really charged, and basic is not in view, so I look earlier. Magic universe. Dangerous and dark knowlege. Making people afraid of knowing. Kill them with truth, undefined and out gradient. And now I reap the rewards, seeing the subject I love destroyed by an insane urge towards confidentiality created by the deadly misuse of truth.
You never hurt anybody with a full discription of anything. Its the tiny piece out of the middle of a larger mass that creates the impact. Especially if you have managed to create a big mystery and beef up the importance of it all.
The only way you could make somebody sick with the upper levels is if you made them confidential and vastly important and then hit somebody with tiny pieces out of sequence. That has real impact because it stirs up things that they can't Itsa. If the whole pack is just lying there and they can read it if they're in the mood, its never going to bother them.
I'll guarantee this one. A huge chain of overts of doing this exact thing just came into view. Its deadly. And because you make people afraid of knowing truth, they fall into your trap and work hard at keeping things confidential.
I may have bored people sometimes with long winded explanations. But its safe and nobody has ever gotten sick from it. But you can put somebody in shock with enough little snippits of half truths from many different unknown areas all at once.
Notice how the negative side only pretends to compliment the posative. This negative use of the knowlege of truth actually reduces knowlege and truth.
Well that seems to have cooled the area down a bit. I have no idea whether or not I was working on the same kind of codes that Alan has been talking about. But whatever I was playing with seemed to be of vast significance and I'm now feeling considerable relief.
It would be nice, however, to have a good definition of "codes" and the attendent patterns/phenomena. Keeping peoples codes hidden (which I think is a mistake but Alan does have the right to choose how his own org operates) is not an excuse for failing to put out some good made up examples.
------------------
Getting back to the subject of "Games", there is a case factor here and I will use Enid's term "Game Sphere" to refer to it. Just as all goals are not GPMs, all games are not these game spheres.
Ron made some early comments about goals, and then followed up with the GPM research of the 1960s. He also made some comments about games (and that seemed to be much more significant) and then never got back to it. What a shame that he thought that GPMs were it. They are shallow late track abberations (definitely post home universe). The games spheres and valence masses go much earlier.
I'm not sure if I'm using Enid's term correctly. If she has something else in mind, I'll have to shift over to talking about game masses or something like that, but it seems to me that we are looking at the same area even if we might be seeing some of it from different angles.
Oddly enough, I see silver spheres in connection with this games area. The GPMs make black mass, the earlier basic games make silver spheres. These are not real colors. The GPM masses seem "black" because they are like black holes which suck everything in. The game spheres seem silver because they are reflective. My attention bounces off of them, like hitting a mirror. These are masses of abandoned identities and I flinch away from occupying them again.
These things are single charge instead of double (plus minus) charge. Singular charges of the same polarity will repel each other. Double charges are electrically neutral and will collapse into gravity wells.
And now, on to Enid's post, which I will mark with #s.
# From: ladyv <ladyv@cts.com> Wed, 21 May 1997
(mostly snipping the stuff from my previous post)
# Actually, no. Betrayal is only one factor. There is the shock, #the emotion and so forth, but the key is the shift in belief. What was is #now not so. Whether it be a beingness, or a belief. In a Psychic Wound #(often accompanied by a Psychic Storm) the person shifts his game sphere #identity, because who he was being has failed him in some way. # # You seem to have done a good job in finding and eradicating the #exact consideration for you, this is the essence of Psychic Wound #Handling. # # So Well Done!!
Thank you.
Now here is a key point, which is the shift in belief. Although the charge and shock in that 1968 fury are gone, I can get a trifle more Itsa by noticing that there indeed was a major shift in belief. Earlier (the violation I mentioned above), I had begun worrying about the completeness of the tech, but I still trusted Ron, mearly feeling that the research was incomplete and expecting him to come up with more solutions. The Class 8s seemed like the answer, and then they turned out to be on a reverse vector. This is what shattered my trust in Ron.
I think that psychic shock is a good term here. Its an incident and its significant, but it is neither
physical impact (an engram) nor is it a loss (secondary). The earliest shocks in my 1968 incident were simply
shocks, which were impacts to my beliefs or valence or frame of reference which caused, shall we say, shifts in
what I thought was reality. Of course losses and impacts hooked into this as the game progressed, but the
first impingments at that time were simple shocks. Its definitely another type of incident, and probably
runs earlier on the track than either secondaries or engrams.
# These shocks are often the key to clearing up Psychic Wounds, # especially at beginning levels. That they discharged so easily for you, # is a bonus.
I tried to blow the charge on those shocks for decades with little success. It wasn't easy. It was hitting the exact right button on the heaviest shock that I have had in this lifetime. Namely, spotting that it was a destroyed beingness and that the beingness which was destroyed was "an auditor".
I would suggest that if you hit the exact right button, it will always discharge miraculously. The trouble
is that I don't know all the possible buttons (like destroyed beingness), and that you might have to L&N for
the item (an "auditor" in this case). I had run so many grades style buttons (PTPs, overts, ARCXs, eval,
inval, protest, and so on) on this area previously that the answer was obvious. Maybe the right approach
would be to cool the area down a bit first with that kind of stuff (ruds etc.) before going for the key button
that blows the whole thing.
# If you use a Game Sphere pattern, the connection becomes clearer. # The "goals in opposition" approach leaves lost beingnesses which are out of # balance. The goals all align to a Game Sphere, in which all the factors # of a game are present. One must assume an identity before an actual goal is # set.
Here I think that you are making the same mistake that Hubbard was famous for, namely that there is one basic or one right approach or one source etc. He had his cronic 'eureka I've finally got it and lets throw out all the old tech' (he wouldn't quite say it this way, but that's what he did pretty much on an annual basis in the 50s and 60s).
There are problems, overts, and upsets and these are three different things. And there are secondaries, engrams, and shocks (in the sense of shifts in beliefs or frames of reference) and these are three more different things. And then there are GPMs, game spheres, and codes and these are yet another three different things. And I'll bet that there are quite a few more factors besides these.
One has identities as senior to goals, and also identities derived from goals. First there are problems. Then there are overts (in an effort to solve problems). And then there are more problems caused by the overts. In a similar manner, there are valence masses before GPMs, and they eventually lead to mocking up GPMs and then the GPMs bring about more valences.
As to the goals in opposition approach leaving lost beingnesses out of balance, I would expect this to be the case if you concentrated on GPMs exclusively. But if you ignore GPMs, you will have the problem of leaving "opposition" type charge unhandled. Each is an area that needs to be run.
I would be very interested in seeing your exact layout for a game sphere pattern.
# There are three types of goal:
#
# True goals which flow naturally from the essence of the being.
Certainly.
# Actual goals which belong to identities and are altered from true # goals by the narrow band an identity must assume.
Yes. The slightly distorted goals connected with these game spheres.
Next would be implanted games, which would lead to very abberated goals (New Idea - wow).
So of course I wondered what would be an implanted game. Instant answer: making money. But
of course implants mimic actuals, so there would also be actual games to make money. Another new cog: we
each had our set of games but they were not necessarily shared or agreed on, so we all implanted each other to
jam our games down each others throats.
# Implant goals, which are altered even further.
Yes. Implanted simple goals. Single (rather than double) firing patterns (decay scales) like the
penalty universes.
# # Love, # Enid
Then there are actual GPM goals. With their sick behaviour of mocking up your own direct oppostion. Definitely late track. Only a very decayed being would do this to himself.
And finally there are the implanted GPMs (double firing patterns).
So I get a total of six. Namely, the simple ones, the game related ones, and the self opposing ones, each in a natural form followed by an implanted form. Of these, only the very first (simple actual) is unabberated.
Carrying on, I decided to try and see how the 1968 incident might lead back to an early game sphere.
To begin with, I had the valence of an auditor being trashed by the valence of a C/S. But I also had Ron in the picture and paying public and ethics officers and regs, etc. Lots of game valences, all supposedly working together but really tossing each other in the dumpster.
Obviously, the specific items I described are not general enough, so I tried to generalize it a bit. Then I thought of my current actual GPM which is the goal "to be intelligent". I could see a teacher and student getting into this kind of game.
It would make sense for an earlier game sphere to get sucked into later GPMs. I could see that this teacher/student game had come in at an earlier time in the GPM while living the GPM items.
But the game sphere did not derive from the GPM, and the GPM didn't derive from the game sphere, only a small section latched onto this particular game sphere (but I had the sense of other game spheres coming into play in different sections of the GPM item plot).
So I grabbed my next earlier actual GPM, which is the goal "to be Holy", and looked to see if this same game sphere had been operating then. And I saw that there was a segment where I was the desciple of a holy man and the same game was played out.
And with that, I began to see the pattern of the game. Namely, that the master always holds something back and is more interested in the practical profits or whatever. And the student is sold on the goals and tries to devote himself and finally discovers that he is betrayed by the master.
And I thought of being an apprentice carpenter, studying with a master craftsman and persuing some sort of asthetic and constructive goal about building beautiful spiral staircases. And I learned and crafted and believed in the wonderful integrity of the master because he lectured on such things. And then we went on a real constuction job and I wanted to build a perfect staircase, and he cheated the patron on the materials and substituted cheap lumber and told me that they'd never know the difference anyway. And I felt betrayed. This might have been in what I've been calling the "conflicts" universe which was just before the Magic Universe (see the Cosmic History in Super Scio).
And in this last one, it did not seem to me that I was working a GPM type goal with regular opposition. And it seemed like something very basic released. And suddenly I realized that I must have been the master first before I decayed into being the apprentice.
And a pattern was revealed. First you can do it. And its not that important to you, because you can do it. So you do it to achieve other things (like making money or whatever), so of course your ethics end up a bit slimy. Therefore you lose ability. So next you try to relearn the skill, and become the apprentice. Now you're all devoted and idealistic, and get betrayed (by a master who acts just like you did). Eventually you are so upset that you can't do the thing at all. So you become a patron and try to buy it, but you always get screwed by the unethical master and the incompetant apprentice. The game pattern is constant, whether you are building staircases or auditing PCs.
And there was the sense that this goes back very early and I don't even have the terms to describe the godlike guru and chela that exist in the manifestations of this game back in the era before home universe. But again something has discharged even though my Itsa line is inadequate in the basic area.
The feeling is that early on there are many of these game spheres, each accumulating more not-isness and abandonment of specific manifestations as one keeps re-enacting and flinching at these games. They float losely, occasionally getting dramatized, thoughout the early track. Then one starts building real GPMs and these game spheres have something solid to latch on to. After that its like a criss-crossed set of lines. Each game sphere threads through many different goals, going into play occasionally when the GPM items swing close enough to launch the specific game. And each GPM pulls different game spheres into restimulation in different parts of its item plot.
A possible cognition (but I'm way over my head and not sure that its right) is that there was a "games implant" which attempted to act as a grouper on the game spheres. And it layed the foundations for building actual GPMs. This would be many universes earlier than the GPM grouping implants like the CC and OT2 (which depend on earlier actual GPMs for their force).
Another new thought: There would also be (of course), codes implants (ethics implants) after the fact of simple codes and violations. Initialy these would have been done to try and get everybody to have the same ethical standards, and of course it simply confused everybody as to what was right or wrong because any agreed upon standard will always have some conflicts with each beings specific codes.
I'm probably restimualting as much as I'm blowing at this point. Everything looks strange, thin, unreal, and drifting.
We've been jaming stuff down each others throats for a long time now. Implanting our own codes and games and GPMs and whatever into each other in an effort to become the one static (which is a lie since the static is neither one nor many nor mearly infinite but rather is all of these and none simulateously).
There, that stopped the drifiting unreality. I was simply protesting the enforcement of the physical universe. Yet another thing we jam down each others throats. I force you to have my mockups and you force me to have yours and the end result is that neither of us can mock up anymore but simply carry on the shared residue of our earlier unique efforts. This hints at the anatomy of a real grade devoted to eval. Its heavier than I thought. The whole physical universe is a cronic eval imposed by each of us upon the others.
And on this note it seems like the right point to move on
to Richard's pre-Mest ideas.
---------------
From: VoltR@ctinet.net (Robert Ducharme) - marked by *s
*The Pilot wrote as part of his article: * *> Examining the area further, there was absolutely no connection *> with GPMs. There was no direct opterm and no goals in opposition. *> Somebody else might have had different considerations and gotten *> a similar incident locked up on a GPM, but as far as I was *> concerned, I had been crushed by my own side rather than by an *> opponent. * * These are found only by further inspection of the shock. Every step of * the shock moment handling must be done in order to discharge these. I have * been finding instances of multiple opposing goals in each shock moment to * where I'll check each postulate with the question of "is there a postulate * that opposes that?" Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't. But there * is always at least one pair of opposing goals.
Further inspection. OK. Still no direct manifestation of a GPM. Opposing goals? Not really except in a mundane sense ("to not be thrown overboard" opposing the goal "to throw somebody overboard"). We could get exotic and full of dub-in and say that Hubbard was opposing my goal to be free, except that I wasn't thinking that or mocking it up even unconciously. I felt that they (CSes, Ron, etc.) had all gotten confused and enturbulated and lost their way. I didn't think of them as enemies although I was upset with them about what was going on. Later I might have had thoughts of opposition, but that was after the fury had continued to accumulate locks and charge.
On a point like this you take the PCs data. Doesn't matter if it violates theory, whether the theory is yours, mine, or Ron's.
But wait, you changed the question on me. Postulates in opposition. Now thats a different matter entirely. Most postulates are not goals (although a goal will be a senior postulate). You can find those in the simple act of driving down the street or searching for a good channel on the radio (you're postulating Mozart and they're postulating Led Zepplin).
Postulates are the lightest most common thing there is. And yet they are also potentially the most powerful and the most basic.
I can find lots of those in the incident. The heaviest was the postulate to stop auditing (and of course
the DofP and the C/Ses wanted me to keep auditing and everybody wanted the HGC stats to go up). Not a goal,
just a simple decision. And I might have changed my mind the next day except for all the charge that was
coming from the fury. And I changed my mind the following month anyway (but I decided that I wouldn't let
anybody be charged for my auditing - again due to the charge on the fury).
* After the opposition forces are discharged, then the computation holding the * shock in place by justifying its existence must be ferretted out. I haven't * found anybody that could short-circuit these steps. ** RD
Hmm. A computation holding the shock in place? Of course. I had to hang on to that entire
mess so that I could figure out what the hell happened. Big mystery. Much enturbulation. Must
understand it so that I can keep it from happening again. So I keep restimulating it and even forcing similar
stuff to happen so that I can figure it out (later similars with execs, SO missions, FEBC grads, etc.).
* Last saturday I ran two highly experienced processees each on the item * they presented me with. The force in the shock was so intense that they * both told me that they'd momentarily passed out. One claimed to have passed * out several times. And that person was a NOTS completion, L's completion, * BC graduate. I'd say there was a lot of force in them thar shocks. They * both literally stated that that was the toughest session they'd ever had.
Not surprising. My charge evaporated on the destroyed beingness button. But it WAS a destroyed beingness. That is massive unconciousness, like dying on the theta level. Hitting the right button was like grounding a charged up capacitor before touching it. I had tried to run this at previous times, and without any tech on shocks etc. it would tend to either knock me anaten or stir up the fury.
Note that my incident was not an engram (no serious impacts), not a loss initially (although there was a loss after the fact), not a GPM (not mocking up my own direct opposition), and not handleable by ruds type buttons (although out-ruds existed in the incident). None the less, it was capable of totally overwhelming me even after clear, clear OT, cause over life (BTs), and a keyed out OT state that included direct violations of physical laws. And I'd run everything the org has deader than a doornail on this one.
Definitely not GPM clearing. Nothing aimed at GPMs would have had a chance against this one. But your shock handling might have had a chance. And Enid's or Alan's stuff might have had a shot at it as well. I think that all three of you are getting people with this stuff in heavy restim because the org totally bypasses it and simply stirs it up without handling it (and busily creates the condition as well).
Lets forget about these status buttons. An OT 6 with grade 1 in restim can get burried under the weight of his problems. And grade 1 does not errase (at least short of about OT 98) so it can always key in again. If he's dumb enought to blame the problems on BTs and pretend that he isn't responsible for them, it can just about kill him. I've seen this in practice.
An unhandled level in heavy restim is serious no matter how many other levels you have done.
* They both discharged the items completely in the end, by the way, and had a * full E.P. I don't know if there are things beyond what I'm addressing (I * consider them to be GPMs by definition) but I think my processees have a lot * of stuff to work with until a new plateau is reached, if that indeed does * happen. I asked them both if they could see any phenomena above what we * were handling, and they both replied negative. ** RD
Very well done on getting them through it.
As to their not seeing other stuff, most people don't when they'er in the middle of a level. And even after they finish, they don't usually until they go out and bump into life again.
There was awhile when I really did think everything came from BTs and I was successful in tracing everything back to them. This is a phase you go through on each level. When you're working something intensively, everything does get mixed up with it even though its not the basic source on most of it. Then you finish the level and are senior to it and you look around and see how much is left.
If you're working somebody on shocks, you would keep working that way until they reached the point of being
senior to shocks. I can see it although I don't have it myself yet. You would get to the point where you
had no shock on shifting valences or changing game contexts. Willingness to be anything at will. To
some degree senior to time and sequence of play. A very high state indeed. You'd go around super blown out
for a month. And then you'd get very gutzy and postulate that you were President of the USA (can assume any
beingness at will, so why not try that one out), and then you'd discover that you still had PTPs, overts, and ARCXs
among other things.
The next part is from a later post of Robert's:
* I had answered this point in a previous post, but I failed to add an * important datum to the answer. * * When a person takes an item back to a pre-MEST area, he will often, as a * free being, be off by himself playing games solo and getting himself into * trouble. In these cases, there will be no opposing force from others' * intentions, but there will still be his own postulates - counter postulates. * The key here is the shock moment which is also the moment of shift, where * the person shifts from one identity to another. The person will at one * moment be happy and playful, and the next moment will be terrified, or sad * or something. Those two identies will be in opposition because he never * really stopped being the first identity. He simply has taken on a second * identity that opposes the first. And this is actually the basis for all * inabilities all the way down the track. The being is ultimately the one who * is stopping himself. The identity before says something like "I can" or "I * disagree" while the identity after says "I can't" or "I agree". * * When the shock moment is taken up in session, the identity before the shock * and the identity after the shock become the sources of the opposing goals.
Well lets see about this one. Before the shock, the identity was "an auditor". Afterwards it was a confused and miserable being who didn't know what the hell to do about anything.
Taking a broader view, the big current GPM (to be intelligent) didn't even go through an item shift (if it had I'd probably be dead), I was still being a smart-ass (that's not actually my RRing item, but it has the approximate flavor) but now I was a miserable one instead of a cheerful and successful one.
But examining the game sphere that had gone into operation, the game had hit its point of betrayal, so there
was a shift from being the wide eyed innocent into being the betrayed synic. Looking earlier, I can see this
same game played out (sort of) in a lifetime back in the 1700s. The lifetimes in between have different game
spheres in opperation. However, they all have a consistancy of this goal to be intelligent. Last lifetime
it was the game of the starving artist rather than the betrayed desciple.
* There may be other identies involved in the incident, but his own are the * most important. They also contain all the postulates that are worth taking * up. In the end the being finds out that he tricked himself into believing * that he was unable when he was actually perfectly able. He even justifies * it like a child not wanting to go to school, convincing his mother and * consequently himself that he's ill.
Tricked myself into believing that I was unable. Now that's an odd though in this case, hard to believe. But it sounds correct per basic theory. So here were these class 8s, and there was Ron playing at being Mr. overwhelm, and there I was with no hope in hell of changing all this. Maybe I could have operated there without getting hit myself, and maybe I could have blown and mocked up my own org or something, but even that would not have remedied the gross outnesses which were destroying my friends, and that was part of the picture.
But wait, we are mocking up reality, and I had even been keyed out OT before the incident. So maybe I could have just waved a hand and changed everything. Or maybe just teleported to the ship and thrown off some big sparks and ordered Ron to behave. Or maybe even just snuck over to the telex machine late at night and started sending messages to Ron that would snap him out of his dramatizations.
So why not? Just the feeling that it would violate big heavy codes. There's darkness here I can't penetrate. Implanted codes, drawing their force from earlier actual codes. Mustn't screw around with reality. Must not violate the sequential nature of time (I might know enough now to shift Ron into a saner valence, but I wouldn't have then).
Ah. The implanted codes work because violating them restimulates the real violations of your own codes. I have no personal code against violating phsical reality. I think that it makes more game and is good for people. And I'm quite willing for other people to re-arrange reality to taste. I like to see that kind of ability. But the implanted code on not violating physical laws is pretty darn tough and I've only managed to slip around it on rare occasions.
Its not my code and yet it must be locked up on something which is my code. Maybe something like giving others a chance or playing fair or something (I might have actual codes like that) and the implant convinces me that it would be unfair or wouldn't give others a chance to play if I messed around with the playing field. Something like that. But this area is still full of blackness. Might need a hundred hours of running codes and violations to really get a clear view.
But I have this strange idea that at basic I'm going to find out that agreeing with physical reality (an implanted code, at least for me) will turn out to be a subtile violation of my own real codes, including the ones that I think I'm keeping by not violating physical reality.
We each have integrity and self-consistancy within ourselves and then we implant me into you and you into me and we become inconsistant and continually violate ourselves by following each others codes.
We were implanted into believing that our codes were wrong. There is more to be learned here. This is very early track, prior to GPMs. At least 3 or 4 universes back, but after the fact of having our own basic codes (the first actuals are before implants, always). But probably after home universe, because we were still too much ourselves at that time to have gotten screwed up in this kind of manner.
Digressing for a moment, Homer had a question concerning Robert's post.
*>> How does a being, who is playing alone, create a shock for himself? *>> *>> Let us analyze this further, please. >> >> Homer
Of course you can shock yourself, but it requires forgetting something so that you can be surprised. If you mock up a wonderful palace, and can manage to forget about it, then you can find it later and delight in this palace that some kind soul left abandoned. Then one day you remember mocking it up. That is a shock. Especially if you didn't believe that you were ever powerful enough to mock up such a thing.
But its debatable as to whether this could be basic rather than after the fact of separating from others.
I don't think that these shocks can be basic. How could you truely shock a being who was still capable of being anything and could shift valences/identities at will or maintain multiple ones simultaneously. Any shocks at this level would be transitory ones for purposes of self-amusement rather than anything abberative.
Its the same problem as with secondaries and engrams, namely that the being already has to be abberated to some slight degree before these can actually impact him.
There can be no true shocks or abberations of game as long as the being can conciously operate multiple roles and viewpoints simultaneously because the shocks only happen to the players. We can still do this at a very low level. Play a chess game or a game of monopoly with yourself, taking on different roles for each player (aggressive, conservative, etc.). Shocks can happen to the players you are mocking up. But they don't happen to you yourself. And if you give each of these roles a code to follow, you will see that even the codes give way at this level.
Now make it into a giant monopoly set with a thousand "players". And have 20 people come over and manage 50 "players" each. There are still no shocks or codes for the senior beings even though there are now multiple senior beings playing. Its the shutdown of awareness into a single identity (or multiple singularities with no senior awareness) that makes the shocks to the "players" stick. The senior beings could not have any of the more advanced abberations (shocks, secondaries, engrams, valences, games, codes, GPMs, etc.) but they could have out ruds (problems manageing their pieces, cheating, going out of ARC with other senior beings etc.).
Now I'd like to take a second digression because I want to leave Roberts pre-Mest stuff for last.
Since I have been trying out everyone else's theories, I though that it would also be appropriate to survey Ron's tech in the area of this 1968 fury.
Certainly there were various entities restimulated and probably at least a few at work adding fuel to the fire. It certainly would not have been as bad for me if I had already run Nots, and I did a very intense clean up of any Nots suff connected with this while doing solo Nots. But that certainly didn't errase the area or relieve the real charge. It simply reduced the PT restimulation of that charge.
It had little connection with my current actual GPM except to contribute to the factors chipping away at the current valence item. Maybe stirred the service fac around a little ("they're stupid"), but no big deal.
It restimulated implant GPMs. In fact it seemed like one big implant at the time. Definite charge. Running implants got some of the weight off, but again came nowhere near handling the real fury. Even so, it would not have been as restimulative if I had run out lots of implants (both Ron's and my own platens) before hand.
There was no serious engram at the time. There is no hint of an engramic command phrase in operating (as in DMSMH). Maybe some faint engramic restim from being thrown in the showers (oh no, I'm at the mercy of the implanters) but I even though that a bit laughable at the time (I had gone clear on power but of course was not an attested clear and had not done the CC. I didn't find force very restimulative, it was the intentions which really bothered me).
There was a secondary. Lots of feelings of loss. I've scanned this area a lot, so I wouldn't bother with another pass trying to run it as a secondary. Instead, let's try some kind of an assist for secondaries.
So I use the 1st ACC handling which is to blow up the terminal (in mockup form) that was lost ("if you blow up the right person, you can just about crack the case"). My first thought is that the entire org was lost. So I start blowing up mockups of the org. Suddenly I realize its all the individuals I've lost. I turn on a heavy grief charge. It's not the org at all but the people. Old friends never seen again, old 2Ds or prospective 2Ds. Close allies. Auditors who swore that they were never going to audit again and left. PCs and students betrayed, never to be seen again. Others shifting valence, becomeing somebody else, dramatizing and psychotic instead of the friends I once knew. Some of them stay on staff and attack other staff members. Others blow and attack those who remain. I've actually been crying slightly and suddenly something shifts and I start laughing.
Whether they stayed in or left, people had the same pissed off dramatization. The hostility that was subsequently aimed at the org by those who blew is identical to the hostility aimed by the senior staff at the junior staff and by the junior staff at the "psychs and squirrels". It is a consistant something. A dark energy hunting for a target. Some people give themselves over to it and become vehicles for it and others just have momentary hot flashes and then reassert their own integrity. But it blankets the subject. Its the same rage that Ron is dramatizing. I'm not doing an A=A here, it just seems like one vast pool which finds different outlets.
The obvious idea is that its just Ron's rage being copied around. But I just can't see him as source. The cloud seems more solid when I think of it as his mockup. Even he was not capable of putting out that much energy at that time. He was dramatizing it along with the rest of us.
But I've already run my rage/fury, so how does this fit? Actuals before implants. Self as source before external. The cloud was already there in early 68, but it did not fasten on me. Then came the destroyed beingness and my own reason for rage. Then the cloud increases the intensity ten fold. That feels right. Running my own rage exteriorized me from it. Then I could look at the cloud which was not me and see its contribution.
Another new basic idea. You can't be source for another being. But you can contribute to his motion. That's how you help or hinder. External sources amplify or diminish. You can sooth the hurt or inflame it.
Then comes the big question. What was the source for the cloud. Now I think we're out of the Mest universe and talking about some senior area. Again way over my head. So I'll put it aside briefly and take another look after poking around at the pre-Mest stuff.
Conclusion: Even after all the other handlings, there was still charge on this incident as a secondary.
Moving right along, the next area of tech would be the grades / ruds. This incident contained out-ruds in vast quantities. Running them always brought some relief but did not really clean up the area. Thats funny because I do think that the ruds are basic.
But I've previously said that you can't really undercut all the way to basic on ruds because the force band is in the way. So the ruds I always ran on this would have been shallow key outs rather than basics. Maybe now I can take a look.
There were endless ARCXs at the time. But now it seems like a vacuume. No charge. I have this strange idea that that black cloud was the real charge which was being bypassed and therefor ARCX tech no longer applies. Maybe just a wierd idea, so I'll drop it for now.
There were endless overts, withholds, motivators, and justifiers. All run ad naseum because I thought it was the most likely target. But there was a lot of valid charge run before I pushed into overrun. However, overrun might occur because true basic is completely out of the band of accessibility. So I'll take a fresh look.
There is the feeling of a basic overt. Letting myself be overwhelmed. Letting it happen so as to convince somebody else that they had comitted an overt. Goes way way back. Reality Wars (see Cosmic History). I can see it. Pretending that I had been destroyed to cave somebody else in. Reminicent of that bulletin on how help became betrayal.
Another one. Handing off responsibility to others. Letting them take the blame. Very early. Done to make them guilty. This all feels earlier than any real codes. Just nasty tricks to get one up on the competition.
Lots of stuff in the area of problems. The basic problem of getting people to co-operate without losing their individuality. So people intentionally exchange pieces of themselves (as BTs) to share themselves with others and bring about a comonality of agreement and understanding. Of course that is a solution and it abberates instead of cures.
Out comm. Of course. Some good communication could have blown the whole thing apart. Same for everything else in existance if we felt like it.
Looks like there were all sorts of underlying basics in the area of ruds. And none of them ever really surfaced on the ruds type handlings that were done on the area before running off all the heavier stuff.
But now I feel like I'm bypassing that pre-Mest area. So back to Robert's post.
* By the way, lately I've even been doing well by adding a new step to the * process. I have the person "move thru the moment of shock from beginning to * end by not-being". This is evidently the 8th dynamic viewpoint where the * 7th dynamic viewpoint would be the viewpoint of being. Strange, but it has * been yielding blowdowns and VGIs. * * I may try adding Alan's procedure of scanning thru the time track back to * the present. But then I'm not sure if that would need to be done from * multiple viewpoints. (I hate adding more arbitraries to an already workable * process.) * * Robert
Moving through by not-being. Gives me the idea of running from the unconcious senior viewpoint that lies above my current personal manifestation.
This fits with another thought I've had about the pre-Mest business. It's both before and concurrent. The super individuals who setup the monopoly board and then play, but who are asleep and only live on in the pieces on the board.
Very early track. Concious of self as many and senior to the many. No reason not to think a thousand different things at once or occupy infinite viewpoints simultaneously. But there are also other infinities who are not you, so there is still individuality in its own strange higher manifestation. As above, so below.
Trying to spot something now in PT. Myself as higher source above this current identity. Get a very strange visio. A sort of greenish aneoba like thing in a sea of bluish grey. Maybe some absurd dub-in because the reality is totally out of reach.
I try an odd experiment. I imagine that the gap between two of the pseudo-pods is filled in, sketching a line between the two peaks and filling it in. There is no force or charge on this. Doesn't feel like I'm doing anything. But the wierdest thing happens. As I do it, I instantly have a cognition out of the blue with no direct connection to anything I've been running and no obvious reason that led up to it.
The cognition is as follows: That we are a wellsping of creativity at the top (I sort of knew this part), and we have become stuck in a fixed reality (also obvious), therefore we must sleep and dream to give all that bottled up creativity some chance to manifest itself (this is the new awareness). This gives me the idea that when we have to sleep, we are being knocked out by our own suppressed creative forces which demand to be manifest in some manner.
It does seem to me that I can sit up half the night and only sleep a tiny amount if I'm writing or otherwise creating or designing something. A lot of artists have said things like this. It's not an absolute, eventually the body drags me down, but its at least half true.
This seems like a neat way to make gains, so I try to connect more pseudo-pods. But the strange higher level reality has fluttered out of reach. I'm not really ready for this and have simply gotten lucky. I can mockup the vision I saw and play at connecting things but its just a mockup. I was not seeing what was really there, the picture I saw was meaningless. But I momentarily touched the unpercieved reality behind it, and did something to expand it, hence the cognition.
Back to the process. Moving through by not-being. It seems like shock is too narrow. I already had the feeling of something extending forward from the earlier violation (a few months earlier) that predisposed me to the shock and the fury. But Robert might have a broader definition of shock than I do, and he has also mentioned earlier beginings, so I'll just take the whole broad timeperiod from the violation onward.
Feeling of forces moving like a river below me. But no real conciousness or awareness. I have though previously that there is a higher viewpoint like this but that it has long been unconcious. Sort of going through a perpetual "engram".
But why so unconcious. Why is it all so obscure. My gut feeling is "hiding". Been hiding for a long long time. I see myself as a multi-part infinite manifestation at the time of the Reality Wars and I see myself as already knocked out in the higher state and only concious in the fragments by the time of home universe.
The feeling is of a sleeping giant with threads trailing down into the universes. The threads are sequential in their own time streams. They are individual "me"s. But they are not necessarily sequential or parrallel relative to each other. And the time of the giant is not the same as the time of the threads and might also be non-sequential to them. And their are other sleeping giants, and all of their threads intertwine.
And maybe a spark lands on the intertwined mass of threads in their pseudo reality. A spark that would wake the giants up. And one of my threads, the one that is writing this, gets caught up in the conflaguration, and I hope to be awakened as do others. But the fire fighting gear goes into operation and drops a black mass onto the spark to put it out. And the thread is blackened. But perhaps it is still smoldering here and now.
Of course I'm just drawing an analogy to the feeling I get on trying to scan through this from a higher viewpoint. I'm in an area of massive unreality and dub-in. But I do think that there is something there and that in some odd way I have gotten a feeling of what occured.
So why are we resisting waking up. There might be old fire fighting gear, but we would still have to be creating it now, so that's just a via. There would still need to be a current reason. Maybe its the same reason we went to sleep in the first place. Here is certainly more food for thought. But I think that a lot more will have to be run to get any reality on this and make things visible.
When I looked over this again later, it occured to me that the strange cognition I had about needing to sleep might hold an answer to how the "higher level beings" were knocked out. If blocking channels of creativity can kick back and knock a being out, then blocking out all but 3 dimensional creations would have one hell of an impact and could be what put us to sleep at this higher level. Maybe the reality wars are still going on and we are simply lying unconcious on the battlefield.
I seem to have dredged up endless data and cognitions and taken off a ton more charge.
So let me thank you all very much for the inspiration and suggestions and encouragement.
The Pilot
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